This Is The END—Live a Little


Five Ways to Spice Up Your Disaster Preparedness Kit (You do have one, right?)

words & photo :: Feet Banks

To quote celebrated cultural anthropologists Cypress Hill, “When the shit goes doooooown, you better be ready….” So if you haven’t got at least four litres of water and a Red Cross 72-Hour Emergency Preparedness Kit in your home (or decent homemade equivalent), you are literally flirting with disaster.

From floods to super storms to forest fire evacuations and beyond, the climate crisis is not joking around and neither should you when it comes to home preparedness. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have at least a little fun right? Here are 11 items to boost your emergency kit and help add some much needed humour and good times to the end of days.

Tetra-pack of Wine
Nothing like a fine Cab Sauv to wash away those doomsday blues.

Expensive Freeze-Dried Dinner
Available at most hiking stores, this will be gone the first night but what better way to ease into a post-apocalyptic reality than a warm, hearty bag of Mexican rice or Kung Pao Chicken?

Playing Cards
Fight boredom while building morale, play strip poker.

Chewing Gum
Just because the world’s gone to crap doesn’t mean your breath has to. Plus, you can probably MacGuyver-fix your radio transmitter with this.

It’s better than seagull.

Fishing Hooks
Fish are the easiest animals to catch (and are also better than seagull).

Old Porn Magazines
Great for trading with roaming bandits; people love the articles.

Tie Straps
The weight-to-usefulness ratio of these little plastic buggers is unparalleled.

Medical Marijuana
Pain relief, distraction and a good way to make friends. Five kilos should do.

Boy Scout Handbook
Because who really remembers all those knots they learned as a kid?

Toilet Paper
You’ll thank us (for a  week or so).

The 1913 flood in Carey, Ohio. PHOTO: WIKICOMMONS

For real though, everything in this post would not be awesome to have in your Emergency preparedness kit, but it only works if you have an Emergency Preparedness kit in the first place. In Canada you can build or buy a kit from the Red Cross, and in America you can get them at Ready America.

Copyright 2020 Feet Banks

Pie Quarterly operates on the unceded territory of the Skwxwú7mesh Úxwumixw
(Squamish peoples, villages, and community) and respects and honours their History, Culture and Rights.

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